It’s amazing how just a simple change in how we speak, can turn an entire situation around. Our tone of voice, volume, or selection of words we use, can make a world of difference in our conversations….. even if it’s a conversation with a two year old!.
When things get hectic, busy and frustrating, it’s easy to ‘blow a fuse’. I know this, because our home has four young children, busy with homeschooling, and believe me…. my ‘fuse’ has blown once or twice. But if you’ve ever caught yourself responding harshly towards your children, maybe snapping at them, or answering with anger, how many of us know that nothing good comes out of that.
It was back a few years ago, when I just had two children, that I responded with anger during a busy and disobedient time. This totally made the situation worse and I felt horrible! During this wearying season, I thought “they are young, they are learning, and I am learning….. how can I change times like this and make it better”. Then I read Proverbs 15:1 ….
‘A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.’
It was then that I started to always try to get down to my child’s level, and speak to them in a soft and gentle voice. I realized that sometimes all a child needs is for you to look them in the eyes, know that they have your heart, and gently speak to them. As I thought about this, I realized that this not only applies to our children, but as wives, it applies towards our husbands too!.
Our children still need correction and re-direction, and believe me, I do my share! but it can be done in a loving and gentle manner. There is an example I desire to show my children, and gentleness is one of them. Little ones learn by example, and if they are always seeing a harsh, snappy or angry mom, guess what they are going to do….. yep!, act out in those same ways. Proverbs 22:24 says ‘Keep away from angry, short tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.’ I want my children to see their mommy as a gentle, soft, and a joyful example. One who can express joy, even during a difficult time. Our children still need to know that correction will take place, but that we will do it without loosing our temper.
So the next time our little ones bring us to the point of possibly pulling our hair out….. all they may need us to do is, take a deep breath, get down to their level, and speak to them in a gentle voice.
Thanks for the reminder. 2 little ones here and it’s easy to yell to get their attention. I’m constantly trying to remind myself to be calm and gentle.
Awesome! I had it once where I was having trouble with one of the kids and her nap time. I remember talking to God in frustration about how the girl would always cry when I would correct her. God simply responded, “it’s because of the way you are talking to her.” Sure enough I changed how I approached the situation, my tone, and she immediately changed her response – no more tears! It amazes me how much our reaction will determine their reaction.